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How many times have you heard someone say, "I want to be married by 25, have my first child by 27, and be making $75,000 a year by 35″? Doesn't it seem like that person is taking all the spontaneity and fun out of life by reducing it to a series of events that may or may not occur? What happens if this person doesn't make of the self-imposed guidelines? Will they consider their life a failure? Unfortunately, I've seen this happen more than once.

Society seems to tell us where we're supposed to be at any given moment in our lives, be it in work, family, or education. When people see someone deep into adulthood working a $7.00 an hour job, silent speculation of where that person went wrong is often the result. If you go to a club and you see a man in his late 30s to early 40s, he's instantly labeled as being "too old" to be in there. Why? Why do we assume that someone's life is in the shitter simply because they don't earn as much as someone else? Why do we cut ourselves off from what was previously enjoyable just because we've seen a certain number of years? Personally, I don't go to clubs anymore because modern music sucks, but that's just me.

I'm not saying that this stuff has never bothered me. Turning 30 was difficult for me because I was in my second semester of junior college and it was just a little odd. Of course, that was before I adopted this current philosophy. My entire life has happened later than society says it's supposed to, but I'm fine. I joined the navy at 23, I didn't start college until I was 29 and I didn't graduate until 32. Now, at 35, I've turned my back on a good paying, but completely unfulfilling job and I have no idea what's next. My evil and heartless wife and I have decided not to add to the world's overpopulation, so the whole family status marker is out. We're doing what we feel is best for us and fuck everyone who can't get over the fact that age simply does not matter. Well, it matters when it comes to things like broken bones, but that's a different story.

In short, do what you want when you want regardless of everyone else's self-imposed age limits. A lot of people say that your teen years are the best of your life. I completely disagree. Those years are filled with needless drama and social awkwardness. Plus, you're still under the dominion of your parents. I say adulthood (regardless of decade) can be the best, if you let it. You're on your own and you don't have to ask permission for shit. If you want to go out and act like a kid, do it. If you want to go buy a convertible or a motorcycle, do it. If you're spouse says you're too old, kick him/her in the crotch and run. And don't worry about what other people say. If they're too limited in their vision to understand that you are not your age, then that's their loss. Fuck 'em.

P.S.: Oh, and in response to what my mentally deficient wife posted about me be self-conscious about my age - she's wrong as usual. I don't like birthdays because that's a time when people pretend they give a shit about you when they really don't. I'm not one of those narcissistic fucks that expects everyone to drop everything just because I came flying out of my mom's crotch on this day. I'm just not the attention whore that most people are on their birthdays. That being said, happy motherfucking birthday to me.

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I'm mainly thinking about this one guy I work with. He's a nice enough chap, but he annoys the piss out of everyone in a 30′ radius with his inane babblings that are supposed to convince us all that he's not really the stupidest person within 4 miles. He knows more about cars, computers, cell phones, travel, and weather (dear God, the weather) than anyone in the Great Plains. If you have the opportunity to refute his "facts" with a book or publication written by the most respected scholars in the Western world, he will tell you that your information is outdated. His information always comes from the Internet, TV, or "a friend" and is therefore much more accurate. And his ears are a marvel of evolution. He can hear a conversation that he wants to interject himself into from up to 100 feet away. The most amazing thing is his powers of hearing work across crowded rooms and through lead walls. And he won't waste the time to cross the room to correct - no, no - he'll shout across unfathomable distances the correct information that you so desperately needed. Eventually, everyone ends up wanting to start a mosh pit on the poor fool's testicles.

My point here, which I've tried to discuss with tonight's protagonist, is that there's nothing wrong with ignorance. Without ignorance, there is no learning. Without ignorance, all knowledge would be instinctual and humans would be no better than those fucking cats on my couch. But, ignorance is often seen as a weakness, an intellectual shortcoming. And it's perfectly human to want to hide or downplay weaknesses. We often hide weakness by overcompensating and that's how someone becomes an insufferable know-it-all. I used to be a frequent offender myself. However, the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know.

So, if someone brings up a topic that you're not well-versed in, don't pretend you are. You'll end up looking like a bigger douche than if you'd just said "I don't know." Or, if you have a little knowledge, by all means share it. When you reach the limits of what you know, say that you don't know anymore than that. After a while, those around you will respect your honesty. They may even think you're wise. They won't want to tee off on your nut sack.

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As you may or may not know, Socrates was tried and sentenced to death for basically being an obnoxious old fart and habitually pointing out the ignorance of supposedly "wise men." On top of that, he influenced the children of Athens to question their elders and taught each of them to be a royal pain in the ass. How did he do this? All he did was ask for further explanation until he had stonewalled the so-called "expert." By doing so, Socrates was forcing people to face their own ignorance. This is but a single aspect of the examined life.

I think too many of us lead unexamined lives, especially in this fast-paced, high-tech world. We can set our coffee to begin brewing automatically in the morning. We can have our bills paid automatically online. Machines answer our phones for us. Cruise control, DVR, and sprinkler systems have all eliminated a little bit of thought from our lives. There are even cars that will parallel park themselves now. Is it any wonder that we end up living lives set on automatic pilot? Think about what you do during the work week. Most of us get up and get dressed, go to work, go to lunch, finish the work day, come home, eat dinner, watch some TV, go to bed, and then get up and go through the exact same routine with only the most minor variations. What are you getting from this a priori way of life? How is this helping you to grow as a human being? Think about it for a minute.

Now, I'm not throwing stones from a glass house. I'm the first to admit that I'm as likely as the next guy to dig myself into a happy little rut. Routine can be comforting - I understand. However, abject adherence to routine breeds personal stagnation. Instead of watching a rerun of Lost, I suggest taking a look at yourself. Ask yourself if there's anything you want to improve upon (there always is if you're looking hard enough). Is there something you want to know about, but have never taken the time to learn? Read a book or sign up for a class. Are you unhappy with where your career is headed? Seriously look at changing jobs or figure out a way to shake things up at the job you have. Personally, I've always wanted to play a musical instrument, so I'm in the process of learning to play the harmonica. Sure, it's not the guitar or the piano, but it's something.

Self-examination is never easy. If it were, everyone would do it. We never want to see ourselves as we actually are; we always gloss over our shortcomings. For instance, I tend to see myself as a fairly charming and well-educated person. My wife sees an insufferable jackass. So, I try to see why she would see me that way. It's not always easy for me to see it, but I'll admit that I can be a bit of a know-it-all at times. I tend to have just enough knowledge to back myself into a corner. I know a lot of arcane little facts about history and anthropology, but I'm no expert on anything. But, if people think you are, then it's a big letdown when the truth is revealed. This is why the Mrs. thinks I'm a jackass. In fact, she'll bitch about this post being too long. So on that note, I'll start wrapping up.

I think what Socrates was getting at was the importance of taking a long, hard look at yourself. Point out your own flaws before anyone else can. It's definitely better to know thyself more intimately than someone else knows you. When you see yourself from the outside, you can't help but be a little dissatisfied. This will drive you to become a better person and, while you'll never achieve perfection, the struggle will make you great.

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